English Wars, Part II of IX

In this, the second of a nine part series highlighting the absurdities of the language spoken in the UK and commonly known as "English," but more appropriately described as "British," we will take a closer look at "snap," "slap," and "click" and their blatantly incorrect usage.

When a game called "Snap" was introduced to our class, the seven E-mericans were confused because the game required what we call "slapping" one's hands on the table. When questioned, the Brits admitted that they call a "slap" a "snap." When further examined, they defined what we call a "snap" as a "click." They continued to jumble the words, saying that "sometimes a slap can be called a slap, but a snap will never be called a slap." And a "click" might be called a "snap." Absurd indeed.

I have decided to start a list of people that I have been told I look like. The list begins below. Feel free to comment on the list or suggest additions to it that you have heard before.

1. Rawson Daniel













2. Jon Hampton













3. The gap-toothed goofy kid in the SigEp composite on the third floor


4. Justin Timberlake










5. "Adam" from the TV show Smallville about Superman. The newest addition to the list...